5 Pests You Wish You Could Call Pest Control For

When unwanted guests are getting perpetually annoying, and you’re either too tired to fend them off yourself or you just don’t know what to do anymore, call for the right body to help you. Have pest control visit you, poison the heck out of them without harming you and your family, and say goodbye to the nuisance that pests are.

But what about those pests which, unlike your common insects and rats, you can’t be so aggressive in dealing with? There are those that, no matter how badly you want to get rid of, would be illegal to poison!

Here are a few examples of pests you wish you could call pest control for to end your misery.

Stray Dogs

There aren’t a lot of people who hate dogs, and while you may or may not be particularly fond of them, stray dogs can still be pretty difficult to deal with. On one hand, it’s not their fault that they’re left to roam around freely and aimlessly. On the other hand, having to pick up after dogs that aren’t even yours is quite annoying. When they spill the garbage or create a mess in your front yard, who has to deal with it? You, of course!

Since impound services are not as active here in the Philippines as they are in other parts of the globe, you’re too desperate to try something new you know will work. Sadly, pest control services are still looking into it.

Snakes

In a country known for its ecological scene, it isn’t particularly unique news to find this formidable reptile wandering around and inside homes, right? If it is your home, however, it’s more than news—it’s a drastic situation.

Snakes are given a bad reputation for being fierce predators with toxic venoms that can sometimes be fatal. Now they’re known to be wanderers that blindly enter a home without permission, and therefore, invitation. With their speed and sleek form, they can crawl through any opening to any space, that they are literally undetected. And they’re for sure about to wreak havoc when a broom comes their way—or they go berserk.

Did you see Snakes on the Plane? It’s virtually your life at home. Now you wish you can call pest control services for them right? But you think maybe no sprinkling or fogging can turn a snake down. Now you really wish you knew parseltongue.

Head lice

The notorious suckers.

These little bugs are the devil’s spawn, sent to control the world and to deliver it to a living hell. They’re especially persistent, clinging onto the scalp and hair with no promise of letting go, and are record-breakingly lustful, producing eggs as plenty as your hair strands, every breathing break.

“Die from pest control, suckers!” you hope to say, because these little things are tough to beat. In your desperation, you are willing to risk your dignity just to finally be lice-free.

Your resident stalker

Resident because he’s always there, watching you. Stalker? Because he’s always there, watching you. And he insists he loves you—a lot. But all you feel is harassed and stressed. These man-pests can get freakier than roaches without heads, and more persistent than ants on your chocolate. But they don’t want your chocolate, just your hand in marriage, and in some ways, that’s even worse! Pest controls aren’t exactly experts on stalkers, but maybe the police could help you.

Your annoying sibling

Younger siblings are perhaps the most annoying people in the world. And the worst part is, they live in the same house, so you technically can’t run them out of your home. You’re stuck with them until that sweet day when you can afford to move out and get your own place. Until then, just bear with them for a little while. After all, even if they’re super annoying, they can also be super sweet. And that almost makes them worth having around.

You already wish your snoopy neighbors would beat it, rally on—be gone—so it is easy to think the same of your pesky home critters. While there are no services that offer these jobs, it doesn’t mean that solutions do not exist. You may see here only one: start your own pest control services, special pests edition.